Look, I have something to say to the truck driver who was behind me as we headed into the Lane Cove Tunnel the other day. Yes, I understand you were angry, because I should have moved into the left hand lane FASTER! MUCH FASTER! Because you were in a hurry! And I was only doing the speed limit! And you needed to go much faster than that! So I certainly did deserve to be punched continuously in the face (if I picked up on your message correctly?)
The thing is, we’d just driven by diggers! Diggers! Who knew they even existed? But now I have a son, I’ve come to realize that diggers are fine pieces of machinery. (Useful too, I guess, for digging.) Anyway, we were discussing diggers and so I didn’t move over as fast as I should have.
I’m truly sorry.
I’M NOT REALLY! I’M BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!
The only time I ever get road rage is in reaction to somebody else’s road rage. Apart from that I’m all gentle shrugs and friendly toots and oh-you-silly-person-in-the-blue-car-goodness-me-just-what-are-you-doing-you-silly-sausage?
I guess it’s because I’m possibly not the world’s best driver. When I first started driving I considered photocopying a standard letter to leave on the windscreens of all the people I bumped into when I tried to park.
Once my sister got a job working at the insurance company I used and she checked my records. She rang me up and said, “You do realize they record every word you say when you ring up to report an accident? Like, ‘The man was really mean to me’?”
Well he was. And I was only twenty. (OK, thirty.) I ran into him on the harbour bridge because I took my eyes off the road to try and find a coin for the toll. “It doesn’t seem like there’s much damage!” I said brightly as we examined the back of his car. The man frowned. He got down on his hands and knees. Then he pounced. “Look!” he cried triumphantly as he pointed out a teeny-tiny scratch I could have rubbed away with my sleeve. “You’re going to have to pay for that!”
Anyway, truck driver, I moved over. And I gave you a little wave of apology. But I still think your reaction was a touch excessive.
Unless, of course, you’d just got terrible news. And you were racing your truck to be by someone’s side. In which case, I really am sorry.
Otherwise, I hope you got a ticket.
In other news, I’ve finished my new book! More details to come.
Also, we saw more diggers today!
PS. Is it bad manners to post about a trivial incident without mentioning that it’s been six months since I was here? Or just sort of odd? Or perfectly acceptable?