Aug 12
21
Why didn’t you tell me?
Last week I wrote ‘the end’ on my new novel, tentatively called THE HUSBAND’S SECRET.
I’m waiting now for the editing, so I’m in that funny time where I do my tax, pay my bills and write apologetic emails to all the people I’ve been neglecting.
I’ve also been reading a new novel by a first-time author. It’s called ‘50 Shades of Grey.’ You’ve probably never heard of it, but I do like to support new authors. It’s selling quite well apparently.
While I read it, I took a few notes. (For my writing.) It seems that my books need more spanking! Why didn’t any of you lovely readers tell me that you wanted more spanking? (Ha.) I guess you felt too shy to mention it. Don’t feel shy! I could have used the heads-up.
Although maybe you realized that I couldn’t write a sexy spanking scene to save my life. (Well, I don’t know. Perhaps I could to save my life. Except I’d be quite nervous and distracted by the person trying to kill me, so it might be tricky to get myself in the right frame of mind.)
Anyway, it’s great to see a new author making a bit of a name for herself. Good on her!
What else?
I had a facial. “Do you have any concerns about your skin?” asked the beautician in that soft, soothing voice they teach them at beautician school. “Not really. Just make me look ten years younger,” I said. I always say that. She guffawed. They always guffaw. (And I always think, Umm, excuse me, why the guffaw? Doesn’t this stuff work?) It’s probably because she’s thinking OMG, if I hear another middle-aged woman say that I may just shoot myself.
A similar thing happened at the hairdressers. They have these vibrating seats at the washbasins. (Not 50 Shades sort of vibrating. For heaven’s sake, you people.) “Shall I put your chair on ‘massage’” asked the hairdresser in that bubbly bouncy voice they teach them at hairdressing school. I said, with a sort of wry, humorous, casual tone, “Oh, sure. Why not?” I felt that really summed up my wry, humorous, unique personality. That’s why I was shocked to overhear the next three women in a row answer in exactly the same way, “Oh, sure. Why not?” they said, in my wry, humorous tone of voice. I was quite depressed about it. It seems I have a mass-produced personality. I had no idea. I secretly thought I had one of those quirky, hard-to-find personalities.
So prepare yourselves my blog readers. I’m going to be spending the new few weeks renovating my personality and developing my erotica writing skills. Who knows what the next blog entry will hold? WHO KNOWS??!
(Probably something shame-faced like, So another year has passed since my last blog entry.)
